- Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
- Friends: Don't forget to socialize
- Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
- Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
- Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
- Society: Don't forget to be perfect
- Tumblr: Fuck the world, at least you haven't murdered somebody today
- Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school” and he was like “YEAAAAAAAH FUTURE PHARMACIST” and fist bumped me
ok apparently this pharmacist is my brother’s old pot dealer
his name is scooter
(Source: chilepowder)
in 4th grade my friend and i did an experiment for science class and we wanted to see how different kinds of music affected fish so we bought a fish and put it in a bowl and then we started playing screamo and the fish DIED
i laUGHED AT THIS FOR 3 HOURS
did you put water in the bowl
(Source: nintendoki)
when you have unlimited texting but only text two people.
(Source: niallscrocodile)
